AN OPEN LETTER TO VIETNAM VETERANS
 
Dear Hero,
 
I was in my twenties during the Vietnam era. I was a single mother and I’m sad to say, I was probably one of the most self-centered people on the planet. To be perfectly honest I didn’t care one way or the other about the war.  All I cared about was me-how I looked, what I wore, and where I was going. I worked and I played. I was never politically involved in anything, but I allowed my opinions to be formed by the media. It happened without my ever being aware. I listened to the protest songs and I watched the six o’clock news and I listened to all the people who were talking. After awhile, I began to repeat their words and, if you were to ask me, I’d have told you I was against the war. It was very popular. Everyone was doing it, and we never saw what it was doing to our men. All we were shown was what they were doing to the people of Vietnam.

My brother joined the Navy and then he was sent to Vietnam. When he came home, I repeated the words to him. It surprised me at how angry he became. I hurt him very deeply and there were years of separation-not only of miles, but also of character. I didn’t understand.  In fact, I didn’t understand anything until one day I opened my newspaper and saw the anguished face of a Vietnam veteran.  The picture was taken at the opening of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C.  His countenance revealed the terrible burden of his soul. As I looked at his picture and his tears, I finally understood a tiny portion of what you had given for us and what we had done to you. I understood that I had been manipulated, but I also knew that I had failed to think for myself. It was like waking up out of a nightmare, except that the nightmare was real. I didn’t know what to do.

One day about, three years ago, I went to a member of the church I attended at that time because he had served in Vietnam. I asked him if he had been in Vietnam, and he got a look on his face and said, “Yes.” Then, I took his hand, looked him square in the face, and said, “Thank you for going.” His jaw dropped, he got an amazed look on his face, and then he said, “No one has ever said that to me.” He hugged me and I could see that he was about to get tears in his eyes. It gave me an idea, because there is much more that needs to be said. How do we put into words all the regret of so many years? I don’t know, but when I have an opportunity, I take it so here goes.  Have you been to Vietnam? If so, I have something I want to say to you-Thank you for going! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Please forgive me for my insensitivity. I don’t know how I could have been so blind, but I was.  When I woke up, you were wounded and the damage was done, and I don’t know how to fix it. I will never stop regretting my actions, and I will never let it happen again.

Please understand that I am speaking for the general public also. We know we blew it and we don’t know how to make it up to you. We wish we had been there for you when you came home from Vietnam because you were a hero and you deserved better. Inside of you there is a pain that will never completely go away and you know what?  It’s inside of us, too; because when we let you down, we hurt ourselves, too.  We all know it and we suffer guilt and we don’t know what to do so we cheer for our troops and write letters to “any soldier” and we hang out the yellow ribbons and fly the flag and we love America. We love you too, even if it doesn’t feel like it to you. I know in my heart that, when we cheer wildly for our troops, part of the reason is trying to make up for Vietnam. And while it may work for us, it does nothing for you.  We failed you. You didn’t fail us, but we failed you and we lost our only chance to be grateful to you at the time when you needed and deserved it.

We have disgraced ourselves and brought shame to our country. We did it and we need your forgiveness. Please say you will forgive us and please take your rightful place as heroes of our country.  We have learned a terribly painful lesson at your expense and we don’t know how to fix it.

From the heart,

Julie Weaver
237 East Gatewood Circle
Burleson, Texas 76028-8948


Webmaster's note:

I posted the above letter for all to see, my brother Vietnam veterans and the public.  I know it will touch them as it has me and just maybe someday we can over come what has happened.  As I said in my Vietnam Veteran Legacy on the next page, some of us can and do forgive, even if we can't forget.  Even though others may never recover from that war, those of us who can need to move on and try to understand, that as veterans who did come home, we have an obligation to our brothers who didn't.  As much as we don't want to be reminded, we need to search for the strength to speak for them, to make sure they are never forgotten and at the same time, make sure what happened to us never happens to today's soldiers.

I know if my name were on that wall in D.C., I would want my brothers who were there with me to tell our side of the story.  We proudly did our duty for our country, the best we knew how.  We all know in every war incidents take place where the innocent are sometimes killed and unless you were there, it is hard to understand how this could happen.  Even so, one incident over ten years of battle does not justify labeling every soldier who fought there.  Right or wrong, the truth is, you, the American people, told us to go there for what we all believed was a just cause.  Over 58,000 of us fought to our death for those causes and for you.  When the time came we didn't think about politics, we thought about keeping each other alive, hopefully to see our loved ones again.

The shameful truth is that when we finally made it home we only expected someone to just say thanks, but instead you called us names and denied you ever knew us.  The physcological scars are still there, just as the physical wounds we still bear to this day.

I would like to get in touch with the woman above who so eloquently wrote this letter.  There is no doubt, it came from her heart.  I wanted to tell her we understand and that I wish all America felt as she but as we have found over the years, there are many who still hate us thanks to people like Jane Fonda and John Kerry.  They are just not as open about it as they once were. 

I guess they are the same type of misguided people who hate our military today in places like Berkeley.  To them I say, take the time to take a long hard look at yourself and what you are doing.  Someday, like Jane Fonda, you may regret what you have done.

To the public, who want to know the truth, ask someone who has put his or her life on the line for what we believe in.  Ask someone who has been there and seen how others in our world live.  Only then will you begin to understand what is important in life.

I am now 59 years old and still have not figured out their way of thinking.  Thank God they are not the majority in this country.  My only explanation for their behavior is one such as the woman above suggested.  From my own experience in Vietnam, she is right about one thing, the media did not tell the truth back then and for the most part they don't now.  Or should I say they just have a way of leaving out what they don't want to report.

The Media has the power to influence people by reporting a slanted view of the news based on their own personal or political agenda.  It's the way some people think things should be and they actually believe it.  It's almost like they were brainwashed and cannot help themselves.  They will argue to their death on issues even when they are proved wrong.

Just as in Iraq now, you can see the media has stopped reporting on Iraq for the most part but a few months ago it was all you saw on TV.  Why the change, it's because things are getting better and that does not fit into their agenda.  Who are these people anyway and why do they do this?  In the long run, they really hurt our country by dividing it.  It almost sounds like some kind of covert conspiracy is going on right under our noses.

Opposing views can become constructive dialog but there comes a time when we're better off to concede and fight the fight together.

I could be wrong, it's just my opinion.  Thank you.

Michael Engi
VVA899